Back to the Basics
I've been having recurring dreams of me going back to high school or even middle school. These dreams are a little personal and disturbing because I almost didn't finish high school! Sometimes in my dream, I am late to class or have trouble finding my class. I might be racing up a stairwell or going in circles searching for where I need to be. I'd be arguing with the office staff, asking why I have to retake a class or repeat another school year. I was ashamed and confused! Sometimes, I even remember that I've already gotten my high school diploma, so I leave the school saying, why do I even bother?! I've already received my high school diploma! These thoughts are bothersome because in real life, I feared going to the wrong class or being late. It would be embarrassing and mortifying!
When I wake up, I am left feeling unsettled in my soul. Why do I keep having these dreams?! Sometimes I would think carnally about these dreams because I am in currently in school now. Does it mean I'm not fit for grad school? Am I going to fail? But I never had an answer or felt at ease. I would think, Okay God, you've got my attention! What lesson do you want me to relearn? What are you trying to say to me? But that's about as far as I got. Then, I'd get busy with life and other obligations. However, the dreams would come back in the next few months or so.
I began having those dreams again. Lately, I've been a couch potato, using all my extra time to scroll on social media or watch YouTube, in attempts to escape, avoid, and procrastinate. But the outcome is that I've been feeling more and more worse--to the point where I get depressed. My thoughts are negative, my self-esteem is diminishing, and I feel more and more miserable. I am finally to the point where I am sick and tired of feeling this way, and I can't take it anymore!
So, the other day, I listened to a Joyce Meyer teaching on YouTube. It was like she was speaking to me--exactly what I needed to hear! I think I had avoided her because I listened to her so often, that I knew most of her personal stories and content. (I am also aware of people’s beliefs about her.) But then it made me think about how I always listened to her and read her books, when I rededicated my life to Christ, back in 2010. She was instrumental in my years as a babe in Christ. You can read more about that here: Giving my Life to Christ. Listening to her again was a breath of fresh air. Her words were simple, yet true. Common sense and convicting. Easy-to-understand, but hard to do.
I'm sharing this today because I think I finally understand what those dreams mean! It doesn't mean I need to go back to high school, but I do need to go to Holy Spirit school! I am in need of a refresher course or more, to relearn the basic principles of Christianity and to strengthen my Christian walk and faith! Actually, it doesn't even have to be that difficult! I believe God just wants me to remember what He taught me and how simple it can be to be a believer. Of course it isn't simple, but I do think we complicate it. We get legalistic, ritualistic, and religious. We think we are over the "milk" and are ready to start chewing on the "meat" of Scripture. I am speaking for myself here. I have just realized this is the way I've been feeling, especially since starting seminary/grad school. For the last two years, I've been studying and learning about all sorts of things and have assumed that I was beyond these elementary topics. But boy was I wrong!
If I was beyond all of that, why am I struggling with things like prayer, self-esteem, my identity in Christ, guilt, and so much more? How did the enemy deceive me and how long has he been depositing self-destructive and self-defeating thoughts into my spirit and soul? And why am I believing him?! Yes these are things that I have learned and should know, but it seems I have forgotten so much of it. I believe this is why God is bringing me back to Joyce Meyer. Her teaching isn't all elementary, nor is it completely new, but it is helpful and just what I need! I am humbled and no longer want to be stubborn. I want to get what God is trying to teach me. This is why I am going back to the basics! I am re-learning things like:
Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5); God forgives us when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9); I am a child and an heir of God (Romans 8:17); I was created in God's image (Genesis 1:27); I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13); I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13-15); I am redeemed (Galatians 3:13); God will supply (and has supplied) all my needs (Philippians 4:19); I am set free (Ephesians 1: 7); I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16); Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20); God started this work in me and will complete it (Philippians 1:6); and so much more! I don't mean to just quote Scripture, but these truths are the building blocks of our faith!
Thus, I have forgotten these basic and simple, but powerful truths! There is no shame in going back to relearn and re-familiarize myself with God's promises and principles! I remember praying these Scriptures over myself almost daily, and feeling empowered, zealous, and bold! Now, I feel faint, fearful, weak. Sometimes I think, where is my faith? I have been deceived by the "father of lies" (John 8:44) and "accuser of the brethren" (Revelations 12:10). I have forgotten who I am and who I belong to. I have forgotten that I don't lack any good thing (Psalm 34:10) and that I have been given power and authority over the enemy (Luke 10:19).
I have also been prideful, thinking I already know this! This is too basic and simple or I don't need reminding! I have since confessed this to God and repented. The Bible says, The Lord disciplines the ones he loves (Hebrews 12:6; Proverbs 3:12), and I am glad! I hope to never think I know it all! May the Lord always humble and discipline me, and may I never stop learning and growing.
Let us pray.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You so much for not giving up on me. Thank You for being patient with me and reminding me that I have forgotten some of Your powerful truths! I need You Lord, and I will never stop needing You. Thank You for speaking to me through Joyce Meyer and Your other servants. Bless all those reading this post. May You lead them in their Christian walk and faith. Bring us back to the basics, if that is what we need. May we read and meditate on Scripture. Let us desire the pure milk of Your Word (1 Peter 2:2), so we will "know Your truths and be set free" (John 8:32). Remind us that we "cannot live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). Therefore, feed us with Your Word; minister to our souls; and help us to not make following You complicated. Correct us, humble us and guide us. In Jesus' Great and Mighty name, amen.
Prayerfully,
Pam
