Giving my Life to Christ

*This is a long post, but there were some details that I just couldn't leave out. Happy reading and God bless!

I grew up going to church. My mother was a devout Christian and my father, not so much. He disliked church and considered all churches to be man-made rules and institutionalized. He also didn’t believe in God and often mocked Christians and their beliefs. There was a lot of strife growing up because my mother and father fought constantly, and my father was very verbally abusive. Most fights were about church and God. But even as a child, I believed in God and understood that Jesus Christ died for my sins. I didn't like church very much though, and my faith was weak. But I do remember that I prayed almost every night, to the point where I could not sleep if I did not pray.

During my teen years, I put my faith on the back burner and did what I wanted. I met my husband when I was 14. We hadn't dated that long, but I got pregnant so we got culturally married when I was 15; he was 16. (Yep, we were very young.) His family was not Christian, but practiced Shamanism so that blurred my faith even more. A few months after we were married, I miscarried. Our marriage was very dysfunctional from the beginning, but understandably so because we were so young. We were never taught how to be husband and wife, and honestly, our parents were far from good examples.

Fast forward to November of 2010. My husband and I had two children, and our marriage was merely hanging by a thread. My husband and I were both consumed by our jobs. We hardly saw ever each other‚ only to swap babysitting shifts. Our relationship was empty and dying; we were like two strangers living under one roof.

Around the same time, I found out that my husband was using drugs and had been for over a year. I felt so disgusted with him and betrayed. At first he denied it, but then made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. Our relationship worsened. The drugs made him short-tempered and irritable. We always argued, so eventually we just stopped talking. Anytime we did talk, one of us was threatening divorce. Soon, I figured out his pattern with the drugs. He would be gone 3-4 days at a time when he was on it, and then come home to sleep/recover. I decided I would leave him; I had everything figured out in my head. (Finances, living situation, etc.) I told myself that the next time he left on a drug binge, I would take my kids and leave. We'd be long gone by the time he returned.

Also during that time, my middle daughter (who was 2.5 at the time) was being attacked. She told me that she was seeing “monsters”. She became very clingy and fearful. She wouldn’t go into another room by herself and was always using her hands or blanket to cover her eyes. At first I thought she just missed me or wanted attention, so I overlooked it. But something wasn’t right. She wasn’t acting like a normal 2-year old. One night, it got to a point where she was so afraid, she froze. She was terrified, so terrified that she wouldn't look up or even speak.

As if those troubles weren't enough, my husband had consulted a Hmong teen who was practicing to be a Shaman. Apparently, he wanted to know if I was his soulmate. He was probably as sick of me as I was of him, and it was his final attempt to save our marriage. The teen told said that I was his soulmate, but I was blinded. He also said that evil spirits were trying to befriend my 2-year because she was vulnerable, and that something harmful would happen to her. Lastly, he said that my husband would die young if he kept on the path that he was on. I'm not sure why, but I also had a strong urge to consult with the teen boy. I wanted to prove to my husband that although I was thought to be his soulmate, he was not mine.

Through this anguish, I was extremely angry and there were two main reasons. Firstly, I was angry at my husband for consulting a Shaman. I blamed him and declared that by his doing drugs, he opened the doors for those evil spirits to torment my daughter. Secondly, I was furious that the spirits would attack such an innocent child! They had no right to be bothering my child! So I decided to call the person I knew who was closest to God—my mom. She told me spend the night at her house and that she would pray for me. She also gave me the number to a man who sharing Christ with others. She said that he could see spirits and get rid of them, but also that he would know why they were there. He was able to do this because he himself had been tormented by spirits. At first I didn’t want to call him, but my loving sister bluntly knocked sense into me and told me quite frankly, that this wasn't about me, and that I had to do whatever I needed for the well-being of my daughter. So I called the man and set up a time for him to pray at my house the following day.

Coincidentally, my husband came home that day (to recover), I told him we were having guests over to pray for our daughter. He didn’t believe that there was anything wrong with our daughter. He told me to tell the guests he wasn’t home and went straight to sleep. The man asked if he could pray for me. I wasn't sure why because I felt that my daughter was the only one who needed prayer; she was the one being tormented. I respectfully agreed to let him pray for me and said that I wished my husband was home so he could get prayed for too. He said that we were "one covenant" so my husband would blessed and covered by the prayer also. He prayed and began prophesying over me. I didn’t know what prophesying even was and never heard of it before, but as he prayed and spoke to me, I was immediately comforted. It was like he could see right into my dull and broken heart.

He said that God showed him that I always pray for all my brothers and sisters, but I had forgotten to pray for myself. This statement pierced my heart; it would be impossible for anyone to know my prayers except God. He also said, God says “Don't do it!” I knew immediately that he was talking about the divorce and the fact that I also wanted to consult the Shaman. I thought to myself, “Ok God, but you better do something about this marriage!”

Next he prayed for my daughter. She had fallen asleep by this time. I wasn't sure if the prayer would work because she was sleeping, but something was happening. To my surprise, the ambiance in my home completely changed and the air didn’t seem as heavy and thick. I felt a calm and peace come over me and knew that this was the beginning of great changes. I believed that everything would work out and be eventually be ok. However, I was still skeptical about the man of God. I wanted to make sure he wasn't a fraud. That night, I felt so hopeful and refreshed, I couldn't sleep so I opened my Bible. When I opened the Bible, it landed on 1 Corinthians 14 which talked about spiritual gifts and prophesying. Wow! God was confirming that he really was sent by God. That was the first time God spoke to me through scripture and I was amazed. It could not just be a mere coincidence.

The next morning, my mother called to see how my daughter was doing. My husband and I were still in bed. I got up and asked my daughter if she still saw monsters. She ran around and looked everywhere for them. When she couldn't find any, she exclaimed, “monster go bye-bye.” She was back to her happy self and her fear was no more. I was so happy and relieved, then looked over to see that my husband was crying. I was still angry with him from the night before and demanded, “What are you crying about?” He said that he was using again and he had been up for days. He should have been in deep sleep when he came home because he was crashing from being on the drugs. But every time the man prayed, he heard everything that the man prayed. He also said that there was also a voice telling him the prayer was stupid and that he should go back to sleep. But the man prayed with such power and force, he could not sleep. He said, “I need to meet that man. If I knew there was someone like that who could help me, I would have never gone to see the medium."

After that day, I believed. God really did love me and He went out of his way to show me in a specialized way. My encounter with this big, amazing God was so personal, and I was hungry for more. A few days after, I gave my life to Christ. Jesus intervened; He saved us. He delivered my child from tormenting spirits, my husband from his drug addiction, and saved our marriage. The medium was wrong. My daughter would not be harmed, my husband would not die, and we were saved. I am so thankful and happy that God didn’t forget about me. I thought I believed in God, but this time He got so personal that His love penetrated both my heart and soul. It was an experience I will never forget.

God's timing is perfect and He meets us right where we are. At that time, bad things kept piling up, heaping one more bad problem on top of another. I was sinking fast and felt like everything was out of control. I was hopeless and just going through the motions, barely surviving and not knowing if a better day would ever come.

If you are experiencing difficulties, there is hope. Our hope is in Christ, who is the truth, the life, and the way (John 14:6). The medium was partially right, I was blind because I did not have Jesus. God removed the scales off of my eyes and now I see. I also see that what the enemy intended for bad, God used for good (Genesis 50:20). If my daughter had not been seeing spirits, I may have never returned to God. It's not too late. If you are in need, ask God for help. Ask Him intervene. Ask Him to fight your battles. He will not fail you.

Let us Pray.

Lord, You are all powerful, all knowing, and always present. I give you Praise. You are the God of Heaven and Earth, the One true King. You are the Lord of Lords and King of Kinds. You reign!

Father God, I thank you for all those reading and for giving me a testimony to share. I pray that in sharing this, the readers will develop a newfound hope in You. I pray that you would allow them to encounter you on a personal level. You know their needs and will meet them where they are. Let them see the unconditional and unending love you have for them. You are so mighty, and if you can save me, you can also save them; your arm is not too short (Isaiah 59:1).

Father God, we know that you sent your son Jesus to die for us, and that he didn't just die for one, but he died for all who believe (John 3:16). Please intervene and help them in whatever problem they struggle with. Heal their broken hearts, wipe their tears, take their heavy burdens and lift off the weight of the world; give them your peace and comfort. "Bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair "(Isaiah 61:3).

I know there is no problem too big for you. You are bigger than a drug addiction, you are more powerful that evil spirits, you are mightier than a broken marriage. Your Word is powerful and it trumps anything a psychic or medium says. Your Word says in Ecclesiastes 8:7, "Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come?" Also Lord, some of those reading may have contacted a psychic or medium out of desperation, and have gotten news that has dug them deeper into their pit of despair. Show them Your Glory. Intervene in their lives now Lord. Only you know all things, for you are the Author and Finisher, the Alpha and the Omega, our Creator. All Praise and Honor is Yours.

In Jesus' mighty name I pray, Amen.

Prayerfully,

Pam