The Cost of Pride
If you look in the Bible, there are many scriptures that address pride. The book of Proverbs, alone, gives numerous teachings on pride, and tells us: where there is pride, there is disgrace (11:2), strife (13:10), and downfall (18:12). Pride is something that everyone struggles with. Some have a big issue with pride, whereas others have a small issue, but it isn't a male issue or female issue. No matter our age, or spiritual level, we all struggle with it. Even my 4 year-old exhibits pride when I ask her to apologize or admit she did something wrong. We all struggle with pride, at one point or another, whether we acknowledge it or not. Personally, pride is a recurring problem that I struggle with, consciously or unconsciously. At times, I find myself intentionally being prideful and other times I'm not even aware of it.
One area in my life, where pride shows itself, is in my marriage. When my husband and I are in a conflict, I usually think I'm right, or that my position is superior. I don't want to listen to him, but I want him to drop his views, then acknowledge, understand, and value my side. I don't make the effort to hear him out, or care what his opinion is. I refuse to listen to him and shut him out; I may end the conversation. If I want to prove my point, I will do whatever I can to get my point across, even if it includes shaming him or saying hurtful things. I want to win, even if it escalates our conflict. My goals is to prove that I am right, and he is wrong! If he surrenders or admits fault, I say, You see, I told you so! just to rub it in more. The proud and arrogant person--"Mocker" is his name-- behaves with insolent fury (Proverbs 21:24), isn't that the truth?! When we are prideful, its easy for us to become insolent, mean, and merciless. Our disagreements don't always look like this, but I wanted you to see my pride at its finest (worst).
On the other hand, when my husband confronts me on something I've done wrong, and I find it extremely hard to admit fault, even if I know I am wrong. This is where my pride kicks into high gear. The difficulty isn't admitting I'm wrong, it's conceding and acknowledging that he is right! (He may also rub it in my face, though he isn't as bad as I am.) How can he be right? I scoff. That's the pride talking again. However, not all conflicts are this hard. There are some conflicts that are easier, in which we admit we are wrong, then both laugh it off. I still have a lot of growing to do in this area, and fortunately, God is right there with me, to humble me and help me along. Scripture states that those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted (Luke 14:11).
One major issue with pride is that it often prevents or delays reconciliation. If my husband and I, both think we are right, we don't resolve matters quickly, and the longer we simmer in our hurt, pain, sadness, or anger, the more bitter and resentful we get. Sometimes our disagreements get so bad that I find myself thinking, I HATE HIM! Not resolving conflicts causes us to harbor unforgiveness, and can make matters worse. As Christians, we must remember what Paul says in Ephesians 4:
Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you (v. 29-32).
When we are prideful, we are blinded by our pride, and therefore, cannot see our faults and weaknesses. Instead, we think we are better, smarter, higher, or greater. Romans 12:3 reminds us to not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. We don't acknowledge our shortcomings or wrongdoings. When this happens, we aren't open to correction and instruction. We close ourselves from receiving wisdom and understanding, and prevent ourselves from growing and seeing the truth, which will eventually lead to our downfall. Psalm 10:4 says In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. We become wise in our own eyes, and do not listen or heed instruction. The Bible says there is more hope for a fool, than someone wise in their own eyes (Proverbs 26:12). When I am being prideful, God makes many attempts to correct me. I can choose to listen or not, but will be humbled, one way or another. I've learned that it is better to listen quickly and obey; it will save a lot of time and grief.
If we, as followers of Christ, let our pride be our guide, we will be traveling the path of a slippery slope, and eventually thrown off track. We've all seen or heard stories of godly people, commit appalling and scandalous sins. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but a pastor caught having an affair or embezzling money is ungodly and preventable! Pride can take a big hit on a person's ministry and calling, and sometimes they never recover. Now, that's not to say that God won't forgive them or redeem them, but the consequences are not painless. Pride is not something that should be overlooked! We need to be self-aware, inspect ourselves frequently, and ask others to help hold us accountable. We need to pay attention to our pride, boasting, and haughtiness. especially leaders. We need to continually yield to the Holy Spirit and submit to our Heavenly Father. It's not enough to be teachable, but we need to be open to correction, HUMBLE! We must welcome and delight in discipline. To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction (Proverbs 12:1 NLT)! Remember, with pride comes sin, and where there is pride, Proverbs says: there is disgrace (11:2), strife (13:10), and downfall (18:12). Pride was what caused Satan to fall, and that in itself should tell us that the cost of pride is simply not worth it!
Let us pray.
Dear Lord,
It's so easy to be prideful. It's so easy to think we are right, better, smarter, or greater. Yet, it's so hard to admit fault or that we are wrong. Sometimes we are prideful and don't even know it. Please help us Lord, please humble us. Let us constantly and consistently examine ourselves for pride. Expose areas in our lives where we do not yield to You Father. Show us how to be teachable and open to correction. Send us people who can help correct us and keep us accountable. Discipline us, and let us delight in Your correction, so that we may grow to be everything You've created us to be. Help the leaders especially, so that pride doesn't overcome them. Allow them to see their faults and errors. Thank You Lord, that though humility is difficult, You can do what we cannot. Do the work in our hearts. Thank You for this reminder, message, and for all those reading. May we live humbly and bring You glory. In Jesus' name, amen.
Prayerfully,
Pam
