Marriage: Part 3 of 3

About a year ago, God showed me that I had to change what I was praying. I had to change what I was asking God to do. It was no longer appropriate for me to pray for God to change my husband into who I wanted him to be, or what I wanted him to become. I had to change my motives. It was selfish of me to pray that way. I had be bold, and pray that my husband would became what God wanted him to be‚ because ultimately whatever God wanted my husband to be, would cover all the things I needed him to be, plus so much more. Our Heavenly Father reminded me that “no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived-- the things God has prepared for those who love him‚” (1 Corinthians 2:9), meaning, I had to fully trust God with my husband, and God would be faithful. Also, God showed me that I had no business telling my husband how to be a man. I am not a man, so what would I know about being a man? That was God’s job, and it is God who is our Creator, which means that God created, molded, and fashioned us. I had to have faith that God was changing us both in the areas we needed, and as long as we did our part, God was taking us to where our marriage needed to be.

Honestly, I still struggle with all of this today. I know and see now how God is working in my husband. I see changes, but sometimes I feel like is isn't happening fast enough for me, or happening the way I want it. Sometimes I get legalistic, and demand that my husband would talk, act, or think the way I do. I hold my husband up to standards, and then I get frustrated that he can't achieve them. I am reminded that God didn’t create him that way, but also that even I don’t meet those standards sometimes. The truth is that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I have to remember that we are not perfect. My marriage isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be. We still have a lot of issues to sort out. Sometimes our old problems rear their ugly faces, and I feel like we’re back at square one. I get frustrated and exhausted, almost to the point of giving up. When this happens, we need to rely on Christ, and God’s Spirit to get us through. He has to be the foundation; there’s no question about it. We are not smart enough to do it alone. I’m not proud to say this, but even my husband has to remind me to be Christ-like sometimes. It’s terrible how fast my potty mouth comes right back when I’m severely hurt, angry, or frustrated.

Daily, I have to make up my mind that I am going to fight for this marriage. Daily. The Bible says, be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong (1 Corinthians 16:13.) Remember what I said about my marriage being dead? (Read Ezekiel 37 about the dry bones.) God has brought this marriage back to life, many times. However, in order to keep this marriage afloat, we have to keep Christ first. We’ve been through a lot, and the first 10 years of our life was awful. We had a handful of good times, but towards the end, it was bitter, cold, dry, and lifeless. With Christ in our life, we can have faith that God will help us, and give us the tools we need to make things work. It is not just a dual effort; it has to be my husband, myself, and Christ. At one point, it was just Christ and I, but even then God remained faithful. He heard my prayers and I never thought we'd be where we are today. This may be the last part of the Marriage Series, but it’s isn't, and they lived happily ever after. My life is no fairy tale, and it is vital that I continue to pray for my husband, my marriage and myself‚ matter how great or horrible marriage seems at that time.

Let us Pray.

Father God,

You are so worthy of all praise, honor, glory, and power. You are amazing, and I love you! Thank you for those reading, and for saving my marriage. Thank you for giving me life experiences to share, and I pray that everyone who reads will be blessed. Lord, you know where my marriage was 10 years ago, and you know what it will be 10 years from now. You also know this about all those reading, and I pray that You will help them. Give them them hope again and bring restoration to their marriage. Link them to the tools they need, whether it be: marriage conferences, movies, sermons, people, or songs. Show them and give them what they need. I speak Life over these marriages, because I know You are the Giver of life, and can revive what is dead. Help them to be patient, kind, loving, caring, and forgiving to one another. I pray for the Spirit of Reconciliation to be upon them and I bind the spirit of strife, malice, and deceit. Bless them greatly, bring healing, and save their marriage for I know You can do all things; nothing is too hard for You!

I pray all this in Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen.

Prayerfully,

Pam